Get the sweet little bird
out of his cage and give him some head scritches
Look up in awe at the beauty
as the baby takes off in full flight
Climb up on the counter
to get the bird off of the top of the kitchen cabinets
Bend down and set the baby
gently on the counter
Climb down from the counter
Clean up the 8 year old's
full glass of milk you knocked over getting down
Watch the beautiful bird
doing laps around the house
Walk calmly and slowly
to where the baby landed on the couch to pick him up
Watch the bird do more
laps around the house
Sneak up on the bird resting
on the kitchen table
Screech out in pain as
you stub your toe on the coffee table and remind yourself
to walk slowly so as not to scare the baby bird who takes
off again
Answer the phone and inform
them that you are not interested in switching your long
distance to MCI
Lock the back door so your
kids don't come in from playing outside while the baby
is doing laps around the house
Walk calmly and slowly
to the baby who has landed on the kitchen chair to rest
Holler at the little nose
pressed up against the window to quit smudging the glass
or he'll be washing every window in this house
Apologize to the baby bird
for startling him and promise him if he'll come down from
the top of the fridge, you'll never holler in the house
again
Go to the baby's cage to
get his favorite toy to try and coax him down
Go back to the kitchen
to bribe the baby off of the refrigerator
Frantically search for
the baby, who is now NOT on the fridge
Unlock the backdoor and
let the 8 year old in to help look for the baby
Crawl on the floor looking
under the furniture for the missing baby
Double check the garbage
can to make sure he didn't fall in
Holler for husband to come
help look for the missing bird
Reiterate your promise
to the baby to never holler in the house again if he will
just quit hiding
Notice the baby in his
cage, sleeping peacefully
Sit down on the couch to
rest while the baby takes a much needed nap
Fall asleep on the couch
and wake up 20 minutes later to husband asking if you
were going to get the pictures updated on the website
soon
Wander around looking for
the camera you set down somewhere while trying to catch
the baby
Holler at the 8 year old
to quit taking pictures of the ceiling and give you your
camera back
Apologize to the baby bird
for hollering and take him out of his cage and scritch
his head
Put the baby on the perch
and pick up the camera
Watch the bird take off
in the air
Climb up on the kitchen
counter to get the bird off of the top cabinet
Pick up the baby gently,
sit on the counter while still holding him, and holler
for the 15 year old to bring you your wing clipping scissors
Clip the babies wings and
apologize for hollering again
Put the baby on the perch
Pick up the camera
Get the bird out of your
hair
Delete the picture you
just accidentally took of your nose hair
Put the baby back on the
perch
Holler at the 15 year old
that if he doesn't stop laughing right this minute, he
will be grounded for the next 5 years
Aim the camera at the perch
and see the baby is not there
Search frantically through
the house for the baby as you lock the doors again
Notice the baby climbing
up his cage
Take a picture of the bird
climbing up the cage, telling yourself that people will
understand if it's not a great picture and you can always
take a better one later
Put the baby back in his
cage, as he's had a long day and needs to rest
Sit down at the computer
to upload the picture and notice that the webcam is broadcasting
and there are 4 people watching
Send messages to the 4
people watching and explain that it normally isn't this
chaotic in the house and ask them to please quit typing
LOLOLOL and to tell you how long they've been watching
for
Realize 1 of the people
watching is your mother
Apologize to your mother
and promise her you will NEVER yell at her grandchildren
again
Apologize to the 15 year
old and tell him you will never threaten to ground him
for 5 years again
Answer the phone and tell
your 15 year old it's for him and it's his grandma wanting
to make sure you apologized
Upload the pictures to
the website
Write yourself a note to
take a better picture tomorrow
Climb into bed exhausted
and ready for some much deserved sleep
Explain to your husband
that you DID update pictures on the website today
Glare at your husband as
he reminds you that you have 4 new babies that need to
have their pictures on the website and maybe you could
find 5 minutes to do it in the morning
Ignore your husband as
he protests while you hand him his pillow and point to
the couch while closing the bedroom door
Drift off to sleep while
planning to enroll the 15 year old in photography classes
first thing in the morning
*Disclaimer: This example
is a dramatization. No children or birds were hollered
at, missing, or locked out of the house at any time. Again,
if you are missing your sense of humor, I'll see if I
can help you find it after I take the rest of the updated
pictures for the website. Laugh, it's contagious!
